Monday, October 19, 2009


Okay okay I'm trying really hard not to panic---1 sec lemme get some dinner-- okay now I'm eating my dinner as I type this because I cant afford to lose precious time.. to make things simple I am drowning in homework--no no! wait for it!! --THAT I HAVE NO FREAKIN CLUE HOW TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I told myself that I'm not going to cry I only have to:

-finish post lab/pre lab questions for chem
-worksheet packet for chem
-end of chapter chem book work
-math worksheet I AM TOTALLY LOST ON
-reread to kill a mocking bird for trial
-get together papers for said trial
-try to finish some grammar work for extra credit --AND ITS A TON LEMME TELL YOU

now didnt I say today was my day to regroup well you can throw that out the window!!! ALL I DO IS HOMEWORK
and I'm trying to get to bed early well you can throw that out the freakin window too
I wanted to clean my room-TOO BAD!
I wanted to not be at my wits end on a monday because I feel like all I do is work and in the times I'm not working I'm dancing which is good but I never get time to just chill and its so annoying oh yeah and I have to email my team members about the trial you know why? because I landed myself a spot as Atticus head of my side of the trail nice huh? and I will say I'm honored but I can't deal with this...UGHHHHH

IF anyones reading this please LEAVE A COMMENT just tell me to suck it up and move on and if you wanna be nice offer to clean my room or give me nice music --I like music


Sunday, October 18, 2009

This is my brains song...

And So We Must Commence

DO you ever get that feeling like things might end up being okay but you're really apprehensive cos you feel like you're gonna fall into a trap and then things are going to go horribly wrong? well I'm not necessarily feeling like that but ya know its getting there--No I lie -I don't know I'm sooo confused now

So yes its been a while since I've written and I don't know I'm just busy and everything I want to say cant be said in a half hour and no I'm not talking about that---okay fine maybe I am a little

Basically I've had to deal with alot of nothing and that's the problem --I make issues for myself and I blow things out of proportion and I get irritable-speaking of irritable I wish everyone would stop saying that I look sad!! gosh okay?!! I'm not depressed yet I get asked every day maybe I have alot I'm thinking about maybe I don't know how I'm going to do my English project maybe I'm excited to go to homecoming but still unsure because I cant stand it anymore? Maybe I'm going insane MAYBE I just cant stand school and some people sometimes and sure maybe I do get a little sad every now and then because I have to deal with things but even if I am is asking me if I'm sad going to fix anything? I DON'T THINK SO....

and I love my friends GOSH do I love you guys you make my world go round and I try I really do try to be honest with you but when I do I don't want sympathy--I despise sympathy when I'm trying to be real I mean not always but I don't need this whole AWWW yeah no thank you

And dance... boy does dance make me tired but I couldn't live without it and I'm rediscovering why I like it and that makes my day..

AND why is it that people have to be so rude? Gosh and can I ever get a good picture of myself? And why is it that I want a good picture of myself isn't that a little narcissistic? And why does A.P. euro take up so much fricken time and do I have to be ignored every day of my life--now I don't consider myself an invisible person but I swear to you at least once a day I'm talking to my imaginary friend because my family and friends move on before I'm through

My room is a mess and I'm a tired wreck so why is it that I felt hopeful in the car I DON'T KNOW

and I'm excited for my Halloween party I want to feel human again because lately I've felt kinda robotic and I get left with no energy which is why I must depart now to SLEEP and forget whatever I wrote here then read it later and be like "OMG I actually wrote that??"


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